Remembering Why You Dance

Recently, I found myself at a West Coast Swing competition, caught up in a mess of nerves and expectations. For the most part, I can usually separate my competition dancing from my social dancing—when I'm social dancing, it’s about fun, connection, and joy no matter how the competition goes. But this particular weekend, I got really in my head. As someone with ADHD competition environments are already overstimulating. There is lots of loud noise, bright lights, and so many humans. So maybe it was the overstimulation, or lack of sleep, or just the winter blues, but the disappointment about my comps crept in, and before I knew it, I was convinced my dancing was terrible, I wasn’t improving despite all of the lessons and workshops, and I was sure that no one wanted to dance with me.

Anxiety took over. I was self-conscious, my dancing felt stiff, and I was in a terrible mood. I could feel my mind spinning as I tried to fix every little thing my teachers had been telling me. When I danced with the more experienced dancers, everything seemed to fall apart. Instead of feeling the flow of the music and the connection with my partner, I was consumed by thoughts of perfection, worrying that they were judging me as harshly as I was judging myself.

Then something unexpected happened. I danced with a beginner. We didn’t do anything fancy—just the basics. And you know what? It was amazing. For the first time all weekend, I stopped worrying. I stopped judging myself. I simply danced. We had fun, and I could feel the joy returning.

Now this one dance didn’t fix all of my anxiety. But it was a powerful reminder: It’s easy to get wrapped up in expectations, competition, and progress. But at the heart of it all, dancing is about joy.

When we first start dancing, it’s easy to have fun. We don’t know anything, and there are no expectations. We simply move, enjoy the music, and connect with our partners. But then, as we improve, something happens. We begin to put pressure on ourselves—to learn faster, to keep up with more experienced dancers, to look perfect. And while progress is important, it’s crucial to remember that progress without joy isn’t progress at all.

So, what do we do when we feel that joy slipping away? Maybe it’s time to switch things up. Take a step back from the technical side of things and focus on a dance style you don't usually explore (or one where you're a complete beginner!) or try taking a lesson in the opposite role you typically dance. Or maybe it’s as simple as going to a social dance and focusing solely on having fun—nothing fancy, just enjoying the moment. Or, like I did, find a beginner and dance with them. There’s something wonderfully freeing about dancing with someone who doesn’t expect perfection (and thinks your “non perfection” is pretty impressive).

At Ignis, we believe that keeping joy at the center of our dancing is essential. It’s not just about the steps, the technique, or the competitions—it’s about why we dance in the first place. So, whatever it takes, remember to dance for the joy of dancing.